More good advice

"If you haven't learned this romantic lesson yet, the stars are about to make you write it on the chalkboard 100 times now to drill it through your head. It's time to speak up for yourself in relationships and not sublimate your own needs. Aren't you tired of being 'nice' and 'good' to get someone to love you? Wouldn't you rather be your own honest, funny, intelligent self -- and be loved for that? How liberating! Uncomplicate a romance and level with your partner."

It would be nice to have a romance to apply this to, but I think the principle holds. I do hide my "self" too much in the attempt to be good enough to earn love.

I've been having an ongoing conversation this week with a friend who sees me as a wonderful, accesible, cuddly person with a backbone. I tend to see myself as a hedgehog... poky and itchy even when I don't mean to be. I'm trying to trust that the people who are worth having around are the ones who enjoy that "honest, funny, intellegent" self that comes out when I'm willing to be what feels like being prickly to me.

The trade off, of course, is that I really, really don't want to hurt people... and it seems like being free/prickly means not caring whether I hurt others. I will always care. But I also think that I hurt people least when I trust myself and find my own balance.